Elizabeth Tai

Scribbles about reading, writing and publishing in the digital era

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Keanu as Constantine? Who were they kidding?


Neo, part deux.

While at Kinokuniya recently, I decided to browse through Constantine graphic novels to get a feeling who this Constantine person is.

When I first saw the trailer, I thought it was kinda cool. I didn’t think Keanu Reeves could act to save his life, but I didn’t know anything about Constantine then. So, hey, I thought – he was good as The One, so this may be no different.

After reading some of the books (cough) by browsing through them at Kino, I echo Constantine fan sentiments: WTF? Keanu as Constantine?!

First, Constantine is English.
b) he cusses like there’s no tomorrow
c) he oozes attitude
d) blonde

Keanu isn’t a good Constantine fit because:
a) he looks like a yuppie fresh out of a Starbucks refill
b) he’s not blonde.
c) attitude? My pooch has more attitude.

Some people say it’s just not fair to evaluate the movie before it’s even released, but if you can’t even get simple basics right like the fact that his secret name is Ged, not Sparrowhawk, you git (sorry, wrong movie adaptation) then this movie has no reason for existing.

Who would’ve made a good Constantine:
a) Ralph Fiennes
b) Paul Bettany
c) Not Brad Pitt. Okay, maybe Brad could do. As long as he can pull off a convincing accent.

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